“She might not get a miracle, but she could be a miracle for someone else.”

Warning: this story may make you cry.

It will make you sad. It should make you angry. It should fill you with frustration and grief, as it did me when I met Lisa L. on the Dallas/Fort Worth 3-Day, then sat down to speak with her at length.

Lisa and her friend Brittney walk as part of team “Sasha 26.” Sasha is Lisa’s daughter. 26 is how old she was when she was taken by breast cancer.

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Brittney (left) and Lisa (right), representing team Sasha 26

Hearing Lisa recount the particulars of Sasha’s breast cancer journey—diagnosed Stage III at 23 years old after months of needless run-around and delays (as is often the case because she was so young, Sasha’s lump was dismissed and an initial mammogram denied); a rapid spread of the disease to her lymph nodes and lungs; surgeries and multiple chemotherapies—it’s unmistakable how closely Lisa was involved in everything that happened during the three years between 2010 and 2013. She sounds like a medical journal, the way she details specifics about the different diagnoses, tests, medications and procedures, but it’s the passion and indignation in her voice that can only come from a mother, especially when the news was as bad as it could be.

“She went from a clean bill of health to, you have 4-12 months to live.” Sasha’s cancer had metastasized into a rare form that was extremely difficult to treat, and extremely painful for Sasha. “It’s devastating to think you’ve won this battle only to be knocked down again…” The pain was real for Lisa too, being a mother whose daughter was, in many ways, forsaken by much of the medical community and ultimately was taken too soon.

I wanted to know more. I wanted to learn what would bring a mother to an event like the 3-Day. As Lisa told me, “The 3-Day is a huge thing for the community itself, but I’m still grieving for my daughter, and to be totally honest, I don’t feel like celebrating breast cancer. My daughter’s not a survivor. I’m a mom who fought for my daughter to live, and it’s hard to be part of the whole excited part.”

It’s completely understandable. With two daughters of my own, I could not imagine the grief and agony of losing a child. But here Lisa is, moving forward, about to tackle the final 4 miles of the route on blistered feet.

She is quick to point out that “Walking wasn’t my idea.” Lisa and Brittney are both Air Force Reserve officers in Texas (Sasha was also enlisted in the Air Force). “My unit has been so supportive of me with my daughter going through breast cancer and passing away. My unit just rallied around me. It’s a big unit, there are 250 of us, but Brittany had heard of Sasha’s story, and when I returned to the unit after Sasha had passed, she came up to me and told me that she was going to walk in Sasha’s name.” Brittney smiles subtly and sits quietly as Lisa continues. “I asked her who she was going to walk with. I mean, you don’t walk 20 miles a day, times three, alone. So I asked her who she was walking with, and she said, ‘By myself,’ and I thought, I just can’t let her do that. She’s doing this for my daughter. I need to be with her, to do it also, to help carry my daughter’s name for 60 miles.”

Lisa has her beautiful daughter’s image tattooed on her arm

So Lisa signed up. She and Brittney went quickly from being acquaintances to teammates, and got to training and fundraising. “We raised money through all kinds of ways—through our unit, through our families, churches, neighborhoods.”

Brittney had her own connections to breast cancer as well. “I have three breast cancer survivors in my family. I know not everyone is as fortunate. I have these three women in my life today, so I realize how blessed I am to have them, because they could just as easily not be here. I’m really grateful that they’re here. There are plenty out there who don’t have that opportunity. They don’t have that chance.”

Lisa and Brittney’s friendship, cemented by this shared experience, is evident. Brittney laughs, “Yeah, there’s no turning back now! We can’t just see each other after this and go, ‘Oh, we only walked 60 miles together, no biggie!’ There’s no going back after that.” Lisa adds, “I have a deep respect for Brittney. She was going to do this by herself. She was inspired by the women that survived, and inspired by a young woman that didn’t. That, I think, proves a lot about her character and her spirit. I respect her for doing all that.”

I asked Lisa what Sasha would have thought about her doing the 3-Day. “Sasha would’ve been right here with me, and not once would she have complained about her blisters,” she answered with a chuckle. “Sasha was pretty tough. She never complained. Never complained, never said a harsh word, and she smiled throughout the whole thing. People would ask her, ‘Sasha, how are you?’ and she would answer, ‘Very well, thank you. How are you?’ And I would think, you’re not well! But she immediately asked about them instead. She was a beautiful soul, and I’m very proud of her. It’s funny, because I used to try and make her into a ‘mini me,’ now I’m trying to be like her!” I think that’s really beautiful.

“I’m trying to be like my daughter now. Like I said, she fought this disease, and she asked the doctors not to give up on her. Dr. Santosh Kesari [a San Diego-based neuro-oncologist] never did. He never gave her a time limit. And I think that’s what helped. That’s why she lived for 19 months, instead of the 4-12 months the other doctors gave her. He never put a time stamp on her.” To have finally found doctors willing to take on Sasha’s aggressive case was a big step, even if it came late. “They tried some things that other doctors wouldn’t try, and they slowed down the cancer. And now they’re doing it for other patients. On tumor boards, they still talk about Sasha today. From all the procedures and the chemos they tried on her, they were able to extrapolate what happens to the body when they go through these procedures. What happens to the cancer.”

“Sasha surprised everyone. She amazed everyone. Every time she walked through the door, they were just amazed by this young woman. Her strength, her courage, her grace.”

I asked Lisa what she would take away from the 3-Day experience. “I will always cry for just me and my daughter, but from here, I take away the bigger community, the bigger aspect of what breast cancer does to other lives as well. Because for me, it’s just my daughter. But I know other people get cancer, I know that. It’s invasive. It knocks everybody for a loop. But yet, it just brings everybody together too. They stand up and say, ‘Let’s get on with this!’ There’s a bigger camaraderie here, and so much more. You’re able to honor people.

“I knew it was a fundraising event, but actually, it’s more than that. I think these women come for bonding moments, they come for support, they come because they don’t want their daughters to have breast cancer. There was a lady we met on the trail who was walking by herself. We asked her why she was walking, and she said, ‘I just wanted to.’ She couldn’t get anybody to commit to do it with her, but she did. She just did it! That’s pretty remarkable. You meet special people, because it takes someone special to do this.”

We’re interrupted by a woman who politely asked, “Excuse me, are you walkers?” Lisa and Brittney acknowledged that they were, and the woman thanked them for walking. She was visiting Dallas, and had no idea the 3-Day was in town. She was an 8-year survivor who happened to find herself in the same park as our Day 3 lunch stop. It was a brief, 20-second exchange, and when she walked away, Lisa looked at me and said, “It’s moments like that.”

Brittany, meanwhile, had been sitting quietly, listening to Lisa’s story with the attentiveness and respect of someone who hadn’t heard it many times already. I asked her what she would take away from the 3-Day. “The camaraderie. People who gave their time to come out and support you. Just little things. Handing you a bottle of water. We saw one house that just had a pink polo shirt hanging outside. Just little things like that, just saying hey, we know what you’re doing and we appreciate it. That camaraderie is amazing.”

I asked, “It may be too soon to think about this, but do you think you’ll do it again?” Lisa laughed again (a nice sound), and said “I think once my blisters are healed and I’ve forgotten the pain! We’ll definitely do it again. We will. And maybe we can get a bigger group together, because now we kind of know the ropes. I think with our experience, we might be able to recruit more people next year.” Brittney added, “It’s a challenge, it is. But it’s well worth it. Because we can. That’s the big thing. I’m still here to walk, so why not?”

Lisa went on, “I just admire every person that comes out here. Women and men of all ages. What is inspiring is that they know they’re going to hurt. They already know. They know it’s going to be rough and be a trial, but they’re going to do it anyway. They do it over and over again, they keep plugging away at it until it’s something that—until breast cancer isn’t a death sentence to some of us.”

I ended our conversation by expressing my gratitude to Lisa for sharing her story. I told her that I know that this has probably been a really difficult weekend for her in a lot of ways, and, I hope, a good one in a lot of other ways. Her willingness to share was so important, because I think a lot of people need to hear that the story doesn’t end as well for some.

But I told Lisa her story’s not over. She replied, “Sasha did a lot for the medical community. She did a lot for teaching her mom a few lessons, and I think she taught others. Sasha said to me that she might not get a miracle, but she could be a miracle for someone else.”

I think that’s pretty clear.

The 2014 Susan G. Komen Dallas/Fort Worth 3-Day Wrap-up

The 2014 Susan G. Komen Dallas/Fort Worth 3-Day has come to a close, and what a weekend it was! We’re so proud of all of our walkers and crew members for creating another incredible little world, and bringing us one step closer to our goal of a world without breast cancer.

With the sun rising over Collin Creek Mall in Plano, we started the Dallas/Fort Worth 3-Day on Friday morning after an inspiring Opening Ceremony. Before long, walkers were at the superhero-themed pit stop 1 at Aldridge Elementary School, then were treated to back-to-back Cheering Stations in Richardson. Hooray for Day 1! Pit stop 2 was a “Mardi Bras” celebration at Cottonwood Park, and then onto lunch at Valley View Park. The North Texas Susan G. Komen affiliate added some sidewalk-chalk motivation to a local intersection, and walkers were rallied at a third Cheering Station on Forest Lane. The community was out in full force on Friday, including a special appearance by the Smoothie King, who shared samples with all the passing walkers.

With Susan G. Komen’s headquarters based right here in Dallas, walkers arriving to pit stop 3 found themselves in the “Komen Korral”, complete with hay bales, a hydration “saloon” and over 40 volunteers from Komen and Bank of America, supplying an endless stream of cheers (there was plenty of cowbell, to be sure). And it was “fourth and goal” at the football-themed pit stop 4, the walkers’ last stop before camp at Brookhaven College.

Friday night’s camp show brought us a powerful speech about not giving up, by 39-year-old Rachel W., a stage IV breast cancer survivor, which had the crowd both laughing and crying. We also recognized Dallas/Fort Worth’s top fundraisers, top training walk leader, and Milestone Award winner.

Walkers left camp on Day 2 rallied by the spirited chants of some area cheer squads, then continued through Brookhaven Country Club, with loads of local support, including a 28-year survivor greeting everyone outside her house. A local drill team danced the walkers into pit stop 1 before the route continued through quaint downtown Carrollton, where walkers enjoyed the first Cheering Station of the day. Also in Carrollton, the pleasantly pink Vintage House had treats out front for the passing walkers; it was a nice full-circle tribute from a local business that also hosted several pre-event meet-ups throughout the year.

Continuing through the neighborhoods of Carrollton, including the scenic “purple trail” through Carrollton Park, walkers found themselves passing the halfway point of their 60 mile journey, and approaching Day 2 lunch at Country Place Elementary. Some gloomy clouds and wind looked a little bit ominous during midday, but they quickly blew through as walkers were able to power over the blue bridge, “cowboy/cowgirl up” with pink foam cowboy hats handed out at pit stop 3, and still be greeted with plenty of late-day motivation at pit stop 4.

Back at camp, it was friends and family night, so participants and their guests were able to gather together for the camp show entertainment, including an exhilarating performance by Nikia B. of her original song “Champion.” The song was followed by with more inspirational speeches from co-survivor Jim Hillmann and young survivor Krissie Dowd, and the incredible Dallas/Fort Worth Youth Corps. And of course, Day 2 would not be complete without the famous 3-Day Saturday night dance party, and the party we saw in DFW was one of the biggest we’ve had all season.

Sunday morning briskness put some color in our cheeks as walkers began Day 3 with a short bus ride to the picturesque Ursuline Academy, where they picked up the day’s 15-mile route. With beautiful parks and neighborhoods around every corner, walkers powered through to lunch at Klyde Warren Park in downtown Dallas. At this green, shaded urban gem of a location (how great were those bistro tables?), a line of food trucks offered delicious dining options to walkers and supporters. After lunch, it was a breezy 4 miles, continuing on past the dramatic bronze cattle drive statues near City Hall and on to Pit 3.After triumphantly crossing under the arch into the Participant Finish Area, walkers and visitors enjoyed music and relaxation, and many witnessed a romantic finish-line marriage proposal just before the last walker made it home. Closing Ceremony was bursting with energy and passion from Dr. Sheri and the crowd, with hundreds of loved ones looking on. Susan G. Komen president and CEO, Dr. Judith Salerno spoke, personally thanking the Dallas/Fort Worth walkers and crew for their remarkable commitment to fighting for the cures to breast cancer. And as we raised the final flag in tribute to our promise to never give up, that incredible feeling of hope could be felt, as big as the Texas sky.

The Strength of Family on the Dallas/Fort Worth 3-Day

The Susan G. Komen 3-Day® community is known as a warm, welcoming family, embracing new participants and nurturing relationships with vets and newbies alike. It’s also not uncommon for actual families to participate together, usually in honor or in memory of loved ones. At the Komen 3-Day in Dallas/Fort Worth this year, I had the pleasure to meet a couple of these families and hear about how the 3-Day® has impacted their lives.

Kristi B.’s family didn’t have a strong connection to breast cancer, but that all changed when her father was diagnosed with the disease in the early 2000s. “It was a real shock [when my dad was diagnosed]. We had never really experienced breast cancer. Both my grandmothers had had breast cancer, but I was so young, I wasn’t really involved in it. It was just a shock to find out our father had it.”

Sadly, Kristi’s dad passed away in 2005, and shortly after that, her sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. The disease had gotten too close too many times. “At that point, I started walking.”

The Dallas/Fort Worth walk this year is Kristi’s fifth walk (she’s also crewed and volunteered). She walks not only in memory of her dad and in honor of her sister who was diagnosed in 2006, but also for her other sister who battled breast cancer just last year.

This year’s event has another special importance to Kristi’s family: her 17-year-old son, Eli, is walking alongside her for the first time.

Eli was a member of the Dallas/Fort Worth Youth Corps for the past two years, and this year decided to walk it with his mom. “It’s a real bonding experience,” Kristi said. “I’ve been around him when he did the Youth Corps, and my older son crewed here a few years ago, so having them here and experience this with me, it brings us closer together.”

I asked Kristi what, after five years, still inspires her about the 3-Day. We smiled when Eli immediately pointed to himself. Kristi confirmed, “Every year I tell myself I’m not walking again, it’s just too much, but this year, he wanted to do it. So he’s why I’m here.”

Naturally, I wanted Eli’s perspective as well, about how walking was different from his time on Youth Corps. “I’ve experienced more, I’ve gotten to know the other walkers a lot better.” And of course, I needed the story behind his vibrant and frilly tutu. “It was my fundraiser for the 3-Day. We had a Facebook group set up called ‘Put Eli in a Tutu.’ We had over 900 followers. If I made the fundraising requirement, I’d have to wear a tutu all 3 days. And I made it.” I was quick to acknowledge that it is a fabulous tutu, and pointed out that Eli didn’t seem uncomfortable in it. He laughed, “It’s not too bad, it’s actually keeping me warm a little bit!”

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Kristi and Eli

Not long after talking with Kristi and Eli, I heard another remarkable example of how the 3-Day brings people together. Renee R., a Dallas-area local, has been walking in the 3-Day for six years, two cities each year (and three in 2013!). Renee has five sisters, who are spread out all over the country, and although she first got involved with the 3-Day as a way to honor her sister Robin—a stage IV survivor who lives in Las Vegas—it was her relationship with her youngest sister, Jill, that was profoundly affected because of the 3-Day last year.

Renee shared, “Jill lives in Chicago, and I was going to do the Chicago 3-Day last year.” She stops, choked up for a moment. “We hadn’t seen each other in forty years.”

Renee describes her family as “a blended family that didn’t stay blended.” But as she prepared to travel to Chicago last year, Renee came across Jill’s email address, hidden within a group message to the whole family. and sent her a message: “I wrote, ‘If I walk the 3-Day in Chicago, will you consider having lunch with me?’ And she said ‘no, I want more than that.’” So Renee and two of her other sisters—Linda who lives in Pennsylvania, and Robin from Las Vegas—met up with Jill in Chicago as well, and four of the six the sisters were reunited for the first time in decades.

I marveled at how, despite all living so far from each other, five of the sisters were together here in Dallas. Renee assured me, “Now they want to follow me wherever I go to walk the 3-Day. So the 3-Day really brought us together.” Robin was not able to make the trip out from Vegas, but the other five women insist that they’ll get all six of them together eventually. In the meantime, they celebrate and honor Robin, as well as the oldest sister, Diane, who was also diagnosed in February.

“The 3-Day brings people together. This is my pink family— ” Renee indicates her team, Angels for the Cure, who are sitting nearby—“We stay together during the off season, celebrate birthdays. But the 3-Day brought my actual family together too. If it wasn’t for the 3-Day, I wouldn’t have gone to Chicago,” Renee says, hugging Jill and filling that forty year absence as if no time had passed at all.