Tag Archives: survivor

A Survivor’s Story: Sherri O’Berry

Editor’s Note: Survivors are the heroes of the 3-Day, and we celebrate them with every step we take. Breast Cancer Awareness Month means not only talking about how we can save more lives, it means talking about the lives that have been saved. As you read this, the first of a set of stories about survivors, know that every dollar you raise for the 3-Day is helping to save lives like Sherri’s.

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My name is Sherri O’Berry. I was diagnosed with breast cancer on August 1, 2013. I was only 42 years old. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Stage 2. The news was grim as I had lost both of my grandmothers to cancer (one to breast cancer) and only knew this disease to be a death sentence. I am a single mother raising three teenagers. When I was diagnosed, I was so afraid I would not be here to watch them grow up. How would they take the news? How could they live without me? Would I get to see them graduate? Get married? Know my grandchildren? I was so scared, in shock, denial, angry. The only thing I could do was make a plan to kick cancer’s butt!

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Within 3 weeks of being diagnosed I was headed into surgery. I opted for a partial mastectomy. Following that surgery, I had another surgery to have my port put in and by October 1st, I was starting treatment. I had six rounds of intensive chemotherapy in 16 weeks. The next several months would determine my fate.

I lost my complete identity. Slowly, the chemo overtook my body. First my hair, then my eyebrows and lashes. I was devastated. Following my first treatment I was hospitalized because my body became so dehydrated and I was really sick. Following my second treatment, in the middle of the night I hit my head falling down the stairs and had to be hospitalized again. It was my 43rd birthday. This was definitely not where I had planned to be at this young age.

Following chemo, I was scheduled for 35 rounds of radiation. Radiation did not seem nearly as difficult as chemo but only time would tell. I had to be tattooed, marked, measured, and on camera day after day. Fatigue was taking its toll on me. The effects of chemo were lingering, as I was warned it would. On day 18 of 35 the Doctor made a choice to stop my radiation treatments because my blood levels were extremely low. Every day that passed at this point was making my previous treatments inactive. Whoa! What another blow! I was terrified.

Every second of every day was a roller coaster of emotions. Finally on April 20th 2014, I completed my 35th round of radiation. I was cancer free! Or was I? That is the question I asked myself over and over. Wasn’t there a test they could give me to tell if the cancerous cells were gone? No, I had to walk away confident that between my surgery and my treatments that I was now cancer free. I learned that being a “survivor” was being alive every day after diagnosis.

My family and friends embraced me tightly and we moved forward,  the only direction I chose to look! I was surrounded by an outpouring of support from everyone in the community. My dear friend set up a meal plan and people I didn’t even know were delivering hot meals daily during my treatments to feed me and my kids. Packages were arriving daily, flowers delivered and my friends put together a benefit for me and raised thousands of dollars for me. I could focus 100% on fighting this awful disease.

One day during my hospital visit someone told me about the Susan G Komen 3-Day. I knew immediately this was a way for me to give back. I was so extremely grateful to learn about all the people who had already been a part of the 3-Day. I started fundraising right away. The first year I walked with 2 dear friends, one of whom was also going through breast cancer treatment at the same time I was. The 2 of us still undergoing treatment were not even sure we would be healthy enough to walk by that August, but raising the money was more important to us than actually participating at that point. This became so important to me. I wanted to raise awareness. I wanted to help find a cure! I was so proud to be part of this movement that would help those diagnosed after me. I was hooked! Once I learned about the 3-Day Youth Corps, I knew right away that my girls would participate with me the following year.

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As a family we started fundraising for the following year’s walk. We did so many bottle drives to collect money, we made crafts and sold them at craft shows, we were given private donations, Euchre Tournament, Dining for Dollars at a local restaurant and garage sales. The walk was not only about the three days, it was about paying it forward. Bonding with my girls. Making sure they understood exactly why we were doing everything we were doing.

Ten months later, it was time for the grand experience. I was so proud of my girls (ages 13 and 15), as they had become just a passionate as I was. The amazing weekend brought us even closer together. We were surrounded by so many other people that were affected by this awful disease and it was like our new extended family. My girls bonded so well with the other 18 kids in the Youth Corps that they have a close relationships that will likely last a lifetime. The weekend was life changing for all three of us. Both of my daughters had to speak in front of a group of 500+ people and explain how they have been affected by cancer.

This past August 2016 my older daughter (age 17) walked with me, and my younger daughter (age 15) was part of the Youth Corps again.

August 2017 will be another change for us, as my youngest is now old enough to join me as a walker. She is beyond excited and looking forward to the challenge.

I always say cancer was the best worst thing that has happened to me. My life has forever changed and I am forever grateful! The 3-Day will be part of my life until we find a cure.

 

My Story: by Ricki Fairley

I walk because I can.

I walk 60 miles because I am #WalkingInBlessings.

I walk for 3 days because I am #TriplePositive.

I walk because I am inspired by the amazing 3-Day community walking with me.

I walk because raising awareness of triple negative breast cancer is my purpose and raising money for research is my mission.

I walk because it is my Faith walk.

I walk because I can’t imagine not walking.

In October of this year I will celebrate five years of survivorship/thrivership.

My cancer diagnosis story is not unlike the stories of many other women. I was a typical, multi-tasking miracle-working, taking-care-of-everyone superhero Black woman who went to the doctor for my annual check-up. It was there, in the most unexpected of surprises, that I was diagnosed with stage III-A triple negative breast cancer, the most aggressive molecular breast cancer sub-type. It represents about 15 percent of breast cancers and currently, there are no targeted therapies, which makes recurrence more prevalent and the mortality rate significantly higher. Also, it affects Black women at twice the rate as women of other races/ethnicities in the U.S.

The next steps were terrifying ones. I had a double mastectomy, chemotherapy and underwent radiation. In my first meeting with my oncologist, she said I would probably only live for 2 years. At the time, my youngest daughter was a sophomore at Dartmouth. I told my doctor that she, I and God would have to work something out because I not only wanted to see Hayley graduate college, but I also had to continue to work so I could pay for it. Somehow, I needed to make it through.

By the grace of God and my doctors, I watched my daughter graduate and her sister, Amanda, recently get married.

Courtesy of Ricki Fairley

Courtesy of Ricki Fairley

My recovery wasn’t all in hospitals and healthcare facilities. My faith, the support of family and my sista friends carried me through.

I had to find peace in my life. I did that by getting rid of all the cancers in my life, not just the one in my breast. I quit my life and started a new one by divorcing my husband of 30 years, separating from my business partners of 10 years, selling my house in the suburbs and moving to the beach. Between my 3rd and 4th rounds of chemo, I started my own business so that I could have more control over my daily life. My “prayer closet,” where I find peace, is on my paddleboard on the Chesapeake Bay. My personal hashtags are #WalkingInBlessings and #TriplePositive.

Courtesy of Ricki Fairley

Courtesy of Ricki Fairley

Though I am blessed and doing well, other Black women are not as fortunate, and it’s certainly not for lack of their own faith or will. The statistics are troubling. According to the CDC and ACS, breast cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer among African-American women. In 2016, about 30,700 new cases of breast cancer are expected to occur among African-American women.

According to the American Cancer Society, since 2003, breast cancer incidence has remained stable in white women and has increased slightly (less than 1 percent per year) in black women.

Overall, breast cancer incidence is lower for African-American than white women. However, for women younger than 45, incidence is higher among African-American women than white women. While the incidence rate for breast cancer is lower in African-American women, the mortality rate was 39 percent higher in African-American women than in white women in 2013 (most recent data available). African-American women are also diagnosed at later stages.  And African-American women are twice as likely to have Triple Negative Breast Cancer, the more aggressive form that I had, than women of other races and ethnicities.

This new guidance from ACS of moving the age to get our first mammogram to age 45 (and repeating every year from ages 45-54) could cause the numbers above to increase. If we look at this latest set of guidelines in light of what we know about black women and breast cancer, we can only expect more deaths from breast cancer in our community.

I work diligently to make women know about this disease and raise funds for research efforts. Komen is spending $54 million on researching new treatment strategies for triple negative breast cancer. Also, I believe so strongly in the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation (TNBCFoundation.org) that I now serve on their Board of Trustees. For our disease, they are the primary resource with up-to-date information on the latest research, the specialized doctors and they have a 24/7 discussion forum where women living with TNBC and their families can go for support. They also have toll-free telephone help line that is staffed by oncology social workers trained to handle our specific needs.

Komen’s Breast Care Helpline (1-877 GO KOMEN (1-877-465-6636) is also a great resource for any and all things related to breast health and breast cancer.

I tell everyone I know to check the breasts that you love; I know you have a pair. It is important for women to know how their breasts look and feel and report any changes to a doctor. Get a clinical breast exam by a trained medical professional at least every 3 years beginning at age 20 and annually after age 40. Talk with a doctor about which screening tests are right for you if you are at a higher risk. If you follow me on Twitter @RickiDove, I tweet a monthly reminder on the 20th of each month.

As Black women, we try to take care of everyone, and often at the expense of our own mental and physical health. We don’t always have to be super heroes. Listen to the direction of flight attendants; put the mask on yourself first. Take a pause for yourself every day, take care of yourself and find peace in your life. I find peace in making a difference in this fight against breast cancer.

Consider walking in the Komen 3-Day! It’s three days of friendship, inspiration and encouragement. After walking 60 miles, you will walk away with a memory that you will treasure for the rest of your life.  Join my team and walk with us in San Diego in November: Triple Positive Faith Hope Cure, OR if you are a first-time walker Register to walk by May 9th with the code BYB16 and you’ll get a free plane ticket to and from the event, so you can experience the magic for yourself. Read all about it at The3Day.org/Bestie. Sign up today!

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Photo Courtesy of Ricki Fairley

 

A Disruption of Pink – Seattle 3-Day Team GTM

This is team GTM.IMG_8363 GTM stands for Gargantuan Thrill Machine. Of course, my first order of business when I sat down with sisters Jennifer and Sue MacMenamin at lunch on Day 2 of the Seattle 3-Day was to find out where that name came from.

“When we were in high school, maybe a little bit into college, we started a basement band, and that’s what we called it. The Gargantuan Thrill Machine, GTM for short. It came from a movie review on the back of a VHS copy of an old Arnold Schwarzenegger movie that was described as ‘a gargantuan thrill machine,’ and we just thought it was a great name for a band.”

A couple decades later, it was clear that GTM was also the perfect name for a 3-Day team. And not just any team; team GTM includes all five MacMenamin siblings, both parents, an aunt who came out from Ireland (where Mom and Dad MacMenamin are originally from as well), and a healthy smattering of very supportive friends. They are all first-timer walkers except for Jen, who walked in the Twin Cities 3-Day in 2010 with a friend whose mom died from breast cancer.

What brought their extended family to the Seattle 3-Day this year was the deeply personal motivation that brings so many people to the 3-Day: one of them got breast cancer. Sue was diagnosed last summer and just finished treatment this past August. As she got stronger in the spring, she started to get the idea of doing something. “Jen and I were on the phone once at work, and we thought, it’s coming up, we could do it. Let’s do it! So we signed up.”

Sue and Jen on Day 1 in Seattle.

Sue and Jen on Day 1 in Seattle.

They didn’t have much anxiety over walking 60 miles in 3 days, but the fundraising aspect made them a little nervous. Turns out, they didn’t have much to be nervous about; the 12-person Gargantuan Thrill Machine raised over $31,000, putting them in the top 10 fundraising teams in Seattle. “We all did our own things,” Jen told me. “Some people reached out on emails and texts. A couple of bake sales that our kids did.” Sue added with a laugh, “We did one bake sale with my kids at Shilshole Marina [in Seattle], and my 6-year-old daughter would run up to anybody who was walking down the docks and yell, ‘We’re having a fundraiser for breast cancer! We’re selling cookies!’ And then she would do the splits. Jen told us, don’t let the fundraising hold you back. People will support you. It will happen.”

Sue was the first person in the MacMenamin family to be diagnosed with breast cancer, so the family went from having no family history to suddenly having a very strong connection.

“Just from talking to the family, we’ve sort of never faced a type of stress that we couldn’t do anything about,” Jen said. “And so, the idea of this coming up was…everybody was so far away from Sue, and we all tried to be here, tried to be here, but there was nothing we could do for her. Treatment had to take its course. But the 3-Day felt like something that could focus our energy somewhere on something good.”

There was no hesitation from any of the MacMenamins to sign on, even though they are spread out over four states (and don’t forget Aunt Bea from Dublin). “It is remarkable. We’re incredibly, incredibly lucky, and I have been lucky this whole year.” Sue gets choked up and hugs her sister. “They’re really good.”IMG_8354

“The whole thing has been great,” Jen says. “It’s a beautiful walk, and everyone cheering, and all of us being together and having time to talk. That was one thing we were looking forward to. We’re all spread out, we each have kids, we don’t really get moments to get away and just be adults and chat and talk about life.”

Sue agrees. “For us, it’s a great way for all of us to be able to talk about our experience with breast cancer, for them to talk about it, and to talk about it in a positive way. All the people who are helping, all the research that’s being done, all the activism. It just helps to focus on the positive aspects.”

We talked about the whole idea of breast cancer awareness, and how it’s such a great thing, but also difficult, especially when it comes to our kids. “I know my kids worried about me dying,” Sue shared. “But they also see so many people that we call survivors. They see people, they know people. ‘Oh yeah, her mom’s a survivor, or his mom’s a survivor.’ It’s because there IS this presence, they see those examples.” Jen adds, “That’s one of the neat things about these types of events, the long walks of awareness, through all these neighborhoods. It’s a disruption of pink.”

A gargantuan disruption of pink—with an occasional pop of a green shamrock (they are Irish, after all).

On Day 2 of the Seattle 3-Day, when we had our conversation, I knew it may be too soon to tell, but I asked them anyway: do you think you’ll do it again? Sue thought about her answer for a second before responding, “I’d never say never, so who knows, but I will say that this time, this event has been so special that we just can’t recreate it.”